i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
