u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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