I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
