i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
