I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
