Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
