I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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