marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
