my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
