Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've blown a few things in my day
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
