Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize