rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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