Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
