Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Houston, we have a blender
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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