you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
