Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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