is your mom at the bar?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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