So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
