Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Randomize
