i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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