I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
