if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
