Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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