my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She just used a chaser for red wine.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i out mim tonsoeep
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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