this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
