if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
