News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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