i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
