when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
