Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
