if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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