she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
