I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
