Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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