you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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