There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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