My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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