fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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