he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
