I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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