I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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