I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
