i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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