Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
