So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My feet surprised me
Randomize
