yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The Olympian is in my bed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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