Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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