Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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