Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
