I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
