It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
last night I used snow as a chaser
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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