I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize