Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
