So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
