i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
