I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
