We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
