The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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