worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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