I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I didn't notice because vodka
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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