Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize