I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
