I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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