I cockslap morals
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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