Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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