Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
