cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
