So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
