I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize