i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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