In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
