i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am spending my child support on dildos
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
