omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
